F*ck the mushrom soup

Every Christmas I manage to orchestrate a disaster  involving cooking. I thought I had managed to escape it this year. Then today came. A day on which I decided to  make a batch of mushroom soup with milk in it.

So I bring it to the boil – shallots, thyme, garlic finely chopped chestnut mushrooms and decide that it needs thickening. I stir in some flour and little bit of cream and leave to simmer.

I walk away.

I write some more.

I go back.

A spectacular mushroom soup tsunami is bubbling out of the pan and all over the cooker, dripping down through the glass doors and gathering in an immense pool around the base of the oven seeping in to the gaps in the parquet flooring. Most of the liquid content had left the pan, the mushrooms, thyme and shallots remained. I had missed the boiling point.

The cat was delighted to see such a mass of creaminess creeping towards his large, dark paws. Come to me my precious he thought as his eyes glinted in the poor kitchen light and he licked his black lips.

I spent way too long cleaning the damn cooker, removing the glass doors, scraping. Trying to mop the congealing substance was an interesting feat in itself.

Then a thought came to me. Perhaps mushroom soup is the answer to global warming. We could make  moats around the north and south poles and fill them with it.

I’ll put that idea on hold just now as yet again, I have managed to break the oven door and am looking for stuff to mend it with.

F*ck the f*cking mushroom soup.

Hungarian Mushroom Soup

Serves 6

4 tbls. unsalted butter

2 cups chopped onions

1 lb. sliced fresh mushrooms

2 tsps. dried dill

1 tbl. paprika

1 tbl. soy sauce

2 cups chicken broth

1 cup milk

3 tbls. flour

1 tsp. salt

Black pepper, to taste

2 tsps. lemon juice

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/2 cup sour cream

Do as you will!       mushroom soup

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