Skin Deep

It’s World Poetry Day and after some hunting about in the wicker basket of ancient papers, I found this poem I wrote when I was sixteen:

I don’t love you anymore

Don’t think I ever really did

It was all a pretence like our faces

Made up Geisha

White, red and black

I pretend to be not me                                        geisha

I am me but not

If you know what I mean

I don’t want to be me

Just want to be a reflection

Don’t want to see my face

White, red and black

Just want to be a piece of art

Just want to act, pretend

Reflect, dissipate, curve and bend

Your image of me

This is just my skin

I paint it every day

I dress to be somewhere else

I dress to impress me, not you

You and me are finished

I don’t love you anymore

I never really did

 

 

 

To whom it may concern

Taking you to hospital, waiting, taking you again. I took myself for many years when I was young, I asked for no support.

Listening to you talking about how much your family pains you. Most of my family was destroyed by war. I did not ask for you to remember this.

Being reminded constantly just how much your life is about money. I should be grateful for your friendship, shouldn’t I.

Being there when your relationships fall apart, listening again and again. Actually I’ve run out of steam with this one.

Not begrudging your children coming to my home, eating, drinking and spending my fuel. I will never begrudge this, but some respect wouldn’t go amiss.

Feeding you and giving you a bed when no one else will have you or you are too afraid of everybody else in your life and that they will judge you. I come without judgement, I have accepted you for who you are.

Being sober, being available, being here. So many aren’t.

We make sacrifices, give with our hearts and minds and ask for nothing in return.

I have rarely failed to support in my life, but when I have it has been for a very good reason. Right now I need it more.

Today I would like a smile, a thank you and a yes please.

In fact I would like those every day from now on.

Yours,

Mother Earth, Sister Sun and Daughter of the Angels

happiness quote